Counseling
Why the need for counseling?
Counseling is needed because hearing loss is a difficult transition
that affects a person more deeply than one might realize. Not only
does it affect the person losing their hearing, but it has an impact on
the family interacting together. There can be much frustration on
both sides.
Withdrawal & Introversion
A person losing their hearing has a tendency to withdraw as
communication becomes more difficult. It takes a huge,
concentrated effort to interpret speech and one must use facial context
cues and lip reading in addition to what little, if anything, the person
can hear. Such intense concentration and inherent frustrations can
cause headaches.
There is a social stigma attached to losing one's hearing since a
surprising number of people will first assume a person is stupid when
they ask for a repeat (or worse... a number of repeats). I've
thought of wearing a name tag thing that says I'm hearing-impaired, but
I'd feel like the village idiot.
A person losing their hearing may become fearful of interacting where
perhaps they were very outgoing before. They become fearful
because they worry about hearing something incorrectly and thus
responding inappropriately. They become experts at
commiserating... in that they will watch facial cues and try to nod
sympathetically or in agreement, etc. and they pray they get it right.
It's horrible to misread facial context cues and chuckle and then have a
person say angrily, "My father DIED!" And, yes, that really has
happened to me. Imagine the mortification... no explanation of
hearing loss is ever good enough in that situation... they still think
you're an asshole.
The feeling of responding inappropriately is horrible
for many hard-of-hearing people, so they start to withdraw. The
phone may cause anxiety for the same reasons. No one likes to feel
stupid or look stupid or have other people assume they must be stupid,
so they withdraw even more. They feel left out of what used to
involve them, so again... they withdraw even more.
Sensitivity
The person losing their hearing may feel that family members are
barking at them since many people increase their vehemence when giving
repeats instead of just getting louder. And let's face it... some
family members really are a bit disgruntled and annoyed at having to
repeat themselves so often so they really do bark during repeats.
In turn, the family feels misunderstood and like the person losing their
hearing has turned very emotional. Additionally, the family or
spouse may or may not be supportive of the person losing their hearing.
Fear
There can be what seems like irrational fears that come with hearing
loss. For instance, I'm afraid to ride a bike on a public street
because I can't hear whether cars are approaching from behind. I'd
get such a feeling of terror, I'd get off my bike and walk it the rest
of the way home, either facing traffic or on the sidewalk. A
person losing their hearing can be afraid of noises they can't identify
because they don't know what they are or whether they should be afraid
of them. Luckily I have dogs and I rely on them to discern whether
a noise is something I need to worry about or not. Also, with
animals, you learn there are noises you don't hear at all and that's
frightening too.
Grief
There is also the issue of grief. Losing your hearing is a
roller coaster ride on which you can't get off - you're stuck.
There is the realization or the fear that you may never hear the voices
of your children, spouse, or grandchildren ever again. You may
never hear birds sing in the morning or crickets chirping at night.
You may never hear the leaves rustle when the wind blows through the
trees. When you start going deaf, it's not just your hearing you
lose... but every little thing you're used to hearing.
Resolution
So you can see there are many, many issues a person losing their
hearing must deal with. I haven't even covered them all. It
impacts a person at their job, socially, and at home.
It's not even super important that the counselor be a psychologist.
What's most important is that the counselor have some experience with
hearing loss or deafness and a talent for helping families find middle
ground. You can get counseling from a psychologist, a minister,
priest or rabbi, an advocacy agency, etc.
Just for your edification, I'm not a psychologist, but I'm an
ordained minister, spiritual healer, and wholeness coach. If you
need to talk with someone, feel free to contact me via any means listed
in the sidebar. |
